do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
babies were throwing up all over the place
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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