I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
