If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
