she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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