I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
wow bdsm is so cute
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