Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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