C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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