The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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