Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize