I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
