Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
