It's like God shit irony all over that family
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
