1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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