he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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