He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I need to align my fucking chakras
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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