i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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