once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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