Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
