you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
