I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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