Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
