You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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