They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
