I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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