If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
