Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
