coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
