It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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