Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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