hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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