Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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