he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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