will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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