All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
