i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
jump out the window naked night went bad
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
