Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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