I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
