Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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