Me too!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
