And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
