Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
