So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
