I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
