I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
