You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize