Tell her she can't have a vagina
one two three fourrrrnication!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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