My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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