Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize