I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
