Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
