do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
