woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
