Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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