Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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