i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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