a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
