we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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