I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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