At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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