how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
