I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
