And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize