I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
