I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
