she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
