Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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